


Out of Tears

by foreverinprinxietyhell



Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Broken Bones, Broken Promises, Bruises, Cheating, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Relationship, F/M, Healing, Heart-to-Heart, Infidelity, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, One Night Stands, Overdosing, Physical Abuse, Secrets, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Toxic Behavior, Trust Issues, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 21:39:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13579440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverinprinxietyhell/pseuds/foreverinprinxietyhell





	Out of Tears

Commitment kept a thick chain of metal around a half of the long-term relationship with no inch of leash given without trying to guilt him into barely being the person he used to be; the two had been told that they were no longer good for each other, but no amount of stubbornness would relent, for even when breaks were taken they gravitated back with promises to change when the same routine returned. 

“Seriously Sal, something’s gotta give,” one of their mutually held best friends confessed quietly when a few moments could be spared between filming, baby blue eyes widening in horror when a plum splotch stained smooth olive skin under a thinly layered shirt, “Is he hurting you?!”

“It’s not what it looks like, Joey…”

“You shouldn’t be making excuses for that kinda behavior.”

“I’m not, he didn’t mean to grab so hard. Just got a little carried away is all.” 

“If there were teeth marks, I might be able to buy it, but there’s nothin’ sexual about it.” 

Knowing that there was no way to argue with an alibi that painted Brian in a better light, a sad sigh was let out in defeat when words were about to explain how scared he really was, yet the person in question would only deal out another punishment if they were overheard. Instinctively, the youngest of the four fell into place around a well-muscled arm as a hand curled around a broadened collarbone puffed out proudly so as not to alarm his partner of the concerning conversation. 

“Where’re we goin’, babe?”

“Nowhere, I just wanted to talk,” he mused in a calmer voice than used on average, which made the faint of heart start to panic prematurely, “It’s not a break up if that’s what you’re expecting.”

“D-Did I do something wrong again? I swear I didn’t mean to, I-“

“Stop that!”

“Sorry…”

Sighing sharply in a clear sign of annoyance the older man softened slightly at hearing a runny nose sniffle after a yelp was let out, a thick thumb traced along trembling plump lips, not stopping the tender motions until an almost inaudible gasp was let out, “That’s my boy.”  
“Go on, tell me how much of a fuck up I am.” 

“Don’t go takin’ all the credit. I’ve been talking to the guys and they mentioned a few concerns that may be worth getting checked out with an unbiased party.” 

“Are you trying to convince me into couple’s counseling?”

“If that’s what you think will help.”

“I’ve always been honest with you, at least show me the same decency.” 

Taken aback by how harsh of a response came out they stood in silence for a long while even though it seemed justified out of all the hardships forced to face for not behaving perfectly. Dismissing such a rude reaction by accusing the other of being too sensitive despite being able to cover up emotions for the most part, Salvatore simply shrugged to clear away any residual rigidness between them.

Much to his chagrin, he decided that it would be for the best to visit a therapist since Brian was the result of having years of the experience once he had fallen into a pit of depression that nearly ended such a selfless soul’s existence, the younger one harshly blinking away forming tears from witnessing an attempt gone wrong. Swallowing a bitter pill of pride, the two filing for an appointment that would be a few weeks away when a midseason hiatus opened their busy schedules; counting down the days in spite of not wanting to go, Sal wanted what was best for both of them that did not involve the end of their two year long relationship, for this option seemed to be the last chance to think twice before a final result was reached. 

Sharp smells of antiseptic and fake leather seemed to try acting as a distraction while pages of paperwork were filled out and waiting endlessly, yet there was a sense of comfort provided to the one who was a self-proclaimed germaphobe that the clinic had a sense of cleanliness. Startling easily at a sudden door swinging open he instinctively grabbed for a thick, slightly calloused hand even though they had avoided physical contact a few days ago when…

“Sal, Brian?” a middle-aged woman called out for them to cut through a flashback being revisited, a warm smile welcoming the two as they walked over, “Right this way.”

Lead into a dimly-lit office the couple claimed far ends of a provided sofa as an after effect of the most recent argument that had turned toxic from the start. Trying not to tremble, olive fingers knitted together for anchorage that would not be provided elsewhere as a few ordinary questions were asked prior to starting with the real reason for seeking professional advice, “D’you want the full story?” 

“Whatever details you feel are necessary, yes.”

“We’ve been dating for a while now after being childhood friends,” he started with a slight pause to allow for racing thoughts to slow before continuing on with a heated flush of knowing that his significant other would have conflicting details to contribute, “We were going on dates, falling in love like anyone else would except… Bri’s been acting distant lately.”

“How so?” 

“He’s normally a sweet guy, but there have been times where I’ve been slapped or punched. One time I was choked although we’re usually rough with each other intimately.”

“Even so that seems a bit worrisome… Brian, would you like to explain?”

“He acts like the victim all the time, he’s not innocent by any means,” the older man remarked with a soft scoff, “When you’re provoked as much as I am ya get tired of it. Nagging me ‘bout not being supportive when he’s the reason I can’t show any emotion.” 

“Care to elaborate?”

“Well, the other day I was upset and instead of letting me show it, Sally told me to suck it up, that it wasn’t ‘that big of a deal’ I had a rough day.”

“I call bullshit on that!”

“It’s _exactly_ what you did though! You wonder why I talk to the cats so often, yet you never stop to think that you’re making things tougher to deal with!”

“Gentlemen…”

“Instead of telling me this you decide hitting me will solve your problems?”

“Like you’re innocent, yelling at me over the smallest shit.”

Startled out of a vicious back-and-forth cycle by a cleared throat to calm escalating emotions, they refused to look at each other while anger simmered from a boiling point to a lukewarm temperature. Scalding snorts of frustration let out in the otherwise quiet atmosphere made up for a lack of words as both awaited the mediator to step in.

“Have you been told by any outside party that this is an unhealthy relationship?” 

“By our parents, yes. Our best friends have expressed concern too, but they’ve still been supportive,” Salvatore stated softly as his voice returned, “Look, I’ve done my best to make this work. Bri should be lucky that I’ve put up with him for this long.”

“See? This is the type of behavior I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

“Can you please elaborate on what you’ve tried doing, Mr. Vulcano? I don’t think your partner or myself quite understand.”

“I helped him get help when he tried to… End his life on more than one occasion. Stayed by his side while getting treatment, yet it did not seem to help.” 

“Do you feel like he owes you?”

“No, just show a little more appreciation is all I ask.”

“It’s hard for me, love…” the other mused barely above a whisper, bearded cheeks heating up as attention was drawn to him, “Those long months I spent in and out of the hospital wondering when the next time I’d see you would be, pretending I was alright enough and failing… It’s too much to remember, to relive.”

“You got through it though.”

“Barely. If it hadn’t been for you I wouldn’t have missed the first time.”

Taken aback by such a serious claim the younger man was unable to form an appropriate response; lost in thought he was transported back to the day he came home early as a surprise, barging into their bedroom without knocking since his hands were full only to drop a freshly baked pizza onto the beige carpet as he rushed to grab Brian’s raised arm. If he had been a few seconds late the echo of a gun going off would have been the last sound he’d hear before finding the broken body of his lover, a sense of betrayal rinsing out any source of anger as a bullet sunk into the ceiling. 

“I still don’t know why you felt that was the answer. I-I thought I made you happy, but seeing you with a gun…” 

“Felt easier doin’ it than telling you. Didn’t wanna hurt you, but that’s what I ended up doing anyway.”

“You never have, sweetheart,” he reassured, pulling his partner into a warm embrace that thawed their chilling distance from the past few days as tears started to form in both pairs of eyes, “We got this far, so we’ll make it through another rough patch, right?”

Agreeing with a nod as soft sobs made talking a troublesome task, Q quietly calmed after a while of feeling soft soothing circles etch into his back through a thin black shirt carelessly thrown on with only a few minutes to get to the appointment on time. Sniffling away the remaining reminders of sorrow another appointment was scheduled for a few weeks later prior to the two putting the place behind them upon returning home to three mewling cats eager for attention. 

“We’re gonna get better, right?” Brian asked while he gave a few loving strokes to each cat’s flank before straightening up despite paws batting at pants legs to garner more petting. 

“Slowly but surely.” 

“Wanna turn in early for the night, maybe even watch a movie to fall asleep to?”

“It’s barely five…”

“Please?” 

About to argue that they needed a meal before settling in for the night, Sal refrained as he saw the opportunity to start mending where the holes had been torn, for it had been months since either had suggested they spend time together like the god ole days when they started secretly dating. Agreeing instead, a light chuckle was let out at the eager way he was led to their room as a train of felines followed closely behind the lighthearted mood maintained throughout as jeans were left behind near the entrance and the two pressed impossibly close under a navy blue comforter and three purring cats. 

Communication between the two had improved as days turned into weeks with a therapy session in between routine tasks, their lives seeming to improve as usual hard smacks returned to light touches and cheeks were caressed instead of forcefully grabbed. Moving forward became easier to establish to this point where a sense of unity returned an ounce of trust to be extended so far that they could spend some nights apart without as much worry. 

On one such solo outing during a stressful evening filled with working overtime, Salvatore stopped at a nearby bar after his boyfriend had declined coming along in favor of hitting the hay early. With the promise of only a few, lightly alcoholic drinks he would return home as soon as possible, sitting atop a stool and proceeding to order when attention was turned toward a younger man.

“Can I help you, sir?” he asked, a slight smirk arching one corner of his mouth to arch higher than the other, silver eyes waiting the next move, “Somethin’ on your mind?”

“Uh, not really. Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare…”

“No apologies needed. Mind if I join you?”

“You haven’t even asked my name.”

“Mine’s Dalton, yours?” 

“You can call me Sal,” he responded with a faint chuckle at how the suggestive look softened to continue revealing more fascinating features of the stranger, “You don’t look old enough to drink by any means.”

“I’m flattered, but you’d be surprised. I’m twenty-four.”

“You’re kidding!”

“Here’s proof if you don’t believe it.”

Denying the need to look into personal information, he made up for the accusation with a round of straight whiskey as a peace offering; transported to years prior when he and his betrothed frequented establishments such as these after turning in term papers within an hour before they were due, falling faster in love than anyone could document. There was a suddenly heart-stopping pang in his chest once he returned to the present day with a half-lidded, predatory gaze fueled with fiery lust, a rush of regret filling through his overwhelmed system, “I shouldn’t be doing this, I need to get home.”

“What’s the rush? Doubt you and your boo are doin’ too well if you’re out here by yourself.” 

“It’s been a struggle to say the least…”

“What’ve you got to lose then? I’ll make it worth your while.”

About to argue over how the relationship was on the way to recovery there was clouded judgement that told him it would be nothing more than a quick fuck, at the very least he could pretend to have rented a room for the night to sober up. Considering the differing options at hand, a numb shrug was given in answer as a twenty dollar tip was left under a tumbler filled with melting ice to follow the younger one out of the bar where they stopped a few blocks away in front of the white wooden door.

“I don’t kiss and tell. Are we doin’ this or what?”

“So forward, I like your style.”

“Not an answer, sweet cheeks.”

Against moral leanings of making an excuse to hurriedly leave for home in a drunken stupor he smiled and nodded to confirm that this was what he wanted. Mouths melding into one another for a long moment of passion, a firm palm smacked against denim covered cheeks as he was taken through a long corridor soon replaced by cotton sheets and a mound of pillows digging into his bare back. 

Sunlight streams through the slit in a set of maroon curtains nearly blinding sleepy emerald eyes once they opened to roam around and remember where he had ended up staying last night. Hurriedly a nearly dead phone was scooped off of a bedside table to scroll through four unread messages from Brian, the last one being _“Wherever you are, I hope you’re safe. I love you, Sally, sweet dreams.”,_ which were words he had not heard in months and possibly would not hear again for just as long when the truth surfaced.

“You’re finally awake,” Dalton greeted, unable to help a deep-throated laugh that echoed against plaster walls at how easily startled the older one was while he crossed the few feet of distance to join the other under disheveled blankets, “Boy, did you fill me up last night. Surprised I’m ot limpiin’ around.”

“Didn’t hurt you, right?”

“Nah, it’s not my first time with someone so blessed.”

“Glad I could fulfill your needs, but I really must be goin’.”

“So soon? C’mon, you’ve got no where else to be.”

“I need to go back to my fiancé… Please don’t take it personally, I had a lovely time.”

Nodding silently as metallic irises watched without looking away as the naked form stepped into clothes only to remove the articles and redress a second time, offering to provide another night of his life should the relationship ultimately fail. Over his shoulder, Sal spat out a quick thanks before using the last remaining five percent on his cell phone to call a cab, pulse racing at impossible speeds the closer their apartment came into view.  
Handing over the last few dollars over to the driver, a heavy sigh emptied burning lungs as armored courage was summoned before jogging up the front steps to bump haphazardly into a broad chest, yelping with surprise as well-muscled arms wrapped around him without a second thought, “Bri…"

“Where have you been? Were yoou ignoring my messages?”

“Not intentionally…”

“D’you get a little carried away last night?”

“You could say that,” he mused with a hard gulp that gave away a guilty conscious without warning, “We need to talk.”

“You read my mind, babe.”

“Oh, whatever could it be about?”

Keeping a brave façade as he was brought inside to a plush loveseat covered in strands of cat hair, Sal began to tremble as he tried to remember what else he could have possibly done to deserve even more punishment, “Is it somethin’ serious?”

“Quite,” Q commented in a carefully calculated tone, hands clasped in a folded lap as the right words were searched for, “I got a call from this woman wanting to know where you were. Told her I’d pass along a message, she said you owed child support.”

“Why would I…?"

“You fuckin’ know, you knocked her up!"

“I haven’t been with any women since… Shit, it can’t be, we used protection.”

“Clearly it wasn’t strong enough. Did you cheat on me?!”

“I hooked up with her after the first time we took, a break,” he explained, chewing on a plush bottom lip nervously as anger started blaze uncontrollably, “Didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“’Course you didn’t, that’s what they all say. Bet this is why you weren’t so keen on goin’ to counseling with me, you just hoped I’d off myself so you could go back to your whore!”

“Breathe…” he suggested in a soft voice, not daring to reach for one of the hands now balled into a fist in case deserved punches would be thrown at any moment, “I’d never be able to live with myself if you managed to kill yourself, you know that. Why would I get you help and resources if I didn’t care?”

“I-I suppose you’re right…”

“The last thing I wanna do is hurt you, love, but I need to own up to all of my mistakes.”

“Whatdya mean?”

“The reason I didn’t come home last night is ‘cos I… I went home with a younger man. I shouldn’t have, but it happened anyway."

Lost for words a broken sob replaced soft sniffles to combat forming tears, the older man inconsolable as those cries grew louder. Those hollow cries of agony would continue to haunt his mind in an endless loop even after they were reunited after months of another three month stay in a mental ward ended. Pain was deserved, yet the broken nose was not enough for his estranged partner as a medicine cabinet was searched for briskly while thirty thin white pills were taken at once despite trying to stop the irrational behavior; he should have been the one to perish, yet they both would while staying by each other’s side since no one else could tame nor silence their demons for as long despite the times when the darkness snuck in successfully.


End file.
